Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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