he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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