Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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