I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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