i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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