I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
