Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
