the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
