This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
