my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
