i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
