Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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