i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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