so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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