the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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