real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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