We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
