at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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