There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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