in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
