Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
