We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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