so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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