I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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