girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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