how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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