why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want nice things and good sex
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got inside last night via doggy door
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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