Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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