why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
