im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
be right there i have to get my cape
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
