Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
