His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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