That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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