so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
