maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
