we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
