I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Less talking, more tequila
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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