My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
