do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
