when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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