Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize