What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
