Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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