lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
