Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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