when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
