I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
