i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
