Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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