She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
