Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
