why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
