If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
we should paint friendship bongs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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