I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
