Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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