watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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