If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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