Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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