dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize