My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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